A movement built around individual dignity and mutual respect has become nothing more than a hedonistic celebration of debauchery that most want nothing to do with
I don’t agree with your statement that “We were normal, and we were proud of that. The goal was integration and assimilation, not exhibitionism.”
At least that’s not how we argued it in my city and it’s important to acknowledge that every city handled things their own way as we rose in Western nations and different times. We said we’re just like you, we are human beings as diverse as you are and we ask to have equal human rights and not be persecuted because we’re different than you. “Normal” was a word I rejected using as it was obvious that some gays and lesbians were not seen as (and still are not seen as “normal”), which is to say they didn’t fit into conventional stereotypes. And that’s okay - we still embraced them.
I agree that for some of us the goal was integration and assimilation but this was not the case for others. I recall groups who wanted to separate and not integrate or assimilate into the dominant heterosexual world. Lesbian separatists, for example. I certainly remember the “exhibitionism” of the “S&M leather club” as well as gay male drag performers who often led marches and their presence is well documented in archives. Huge difference between then and now is people didn’t bring children to Pride marches to witness the spectacle of sexuality. These have been R rated events from the beginning.
The first ones across the finish line to gaining acceptance were, IMO, the lipstick lesbians and gay men like those pictured on your post because we were seen as “normal”.
While I’ve walked away from participating in Pride because it’s not safe for lesbians like myself to attend (and that’s a personal heartbreak for me because I headed the group that produced my city’s first Pride), I have not forgotten nor will I ever forget those who got left behind and didn’t make it across the finish line. You know, the “not normal” ones who couldn’t fit in or pass. And to them, we ought to pledge to come back because no one should be left on the battlefield to bleed out.
If someone can just clear the parade of sexual predators, “pups” oogling “furries” and heterosexual male autogynephilics who think they’re lesbians, I’m coming back.
As to the asexual crowd and the mysterious + people, who should not go without mention, I think they should also leave. It is shocking that anyone thinks asexual people were historically persecuted and belong at a Pride march. In case they missed the memo, we were targeted because we had sex with the same sex, not because we didn’t want to have sex.
I appreciate this. I don’t necessarily care if you’re gay. But I DO care when degenerates want to indoctrinate CHILDREN by exposing them to sex and sexuality. It damages them for life!!! Early exposure to sex changes your brain.
This movement forces children to these brain changes on purpose.
They have not “become” sex crazed, they’ve almost always included adult sexually focused elements (nudity, leather, drag) that is until surviving HIV took over as a focus, then trans laid a huge Cuckoo’s egg around 1997 when they all became focused on narcissistic self-affirmation. Parades often start with Dykes on Bikes, women in leather and sometimes bare tops. The beginning of the parade. Then something happened.
Gay liberation, HiV Pandemic, Gays disappear, Trans takes over.
I had tattoo-covered friends who had a hobby of getting outrage from the Moral Majority by nude leather gyration in Parades since the early 80’s, more than 40 years ago. It was to get Pride parades in papers. Freakshow was better than no show.
Gay and Lesbian liberation is about sexual liberation, that what the laws were against, not “loving” kiss kiss hug hug, but sex. People didn’t say “lover” to mean honey-bunny. It’s a parade for adults.
What changed is that the trans cuckoo egg hatched and pushed lesbians and gays out of the nest to wither and die, and is actively homophobic.
What’s left is… a parade of narcissistic self-affirmation or… Pride.
Beautiful, thank you. Being the dad of three boys, one who's gay, I most wanted them to grow up to find reason in their beliefs and to value responsibility and humility over license and self reverence. They've mostly done that in a manner that respects people around them while expecting others to act accordingly. Entitlement is mostly out. My eldest has no time for the flag waving and performative type of man, instead living his life quietly and with dignity with his partner. I could not be more proud of him and only wish I could help raise him and his brothers all over again.
Not LG or B (but always supportive!) and have noticed more essays like yours popping up around the current LGBTQI2+whatever and know at least two LGB people in my social circles who share your view. I'm sorry that your history and activism is being hijacked by something that has nothing to do with how your community wishes to be seen.
In SF I'm seeing a real split on this by generations. Older gays and lesbians I know are turned off and many have stopped attending Pride at all, as well as not buying into the trans and queer show. But younger gays and lesbians are completely in on being "queer" and seem to relish getting into people's faces for the rush it gives them. Queer has become the overriding designation here , exemplified by the new Chan National Queer Arts Center.
I'm one of the ancients here and remember when it was Gay Freedom Day in the '70's with Harvey Milk seated on the back of a convertible waving as everyone in the neighborhood, gay and straight, came out to cheer. The shite show going on today bears no relation at all to that time. I wonder what Milk would think about all those years of hard fought progress degenerating into this.
At the risk of putting on my nostalgia glasses, it really was different then. This was an event the entire city was behind and came out to celebrate. What's forgotten is how much support Milk got from blue collar workers ,labor and unions. He was not just about a gay agenda. The whole industrial, business merchandising of Pride hadn't happened yet and is now long past it's shelf life. More kitch and embarrassing today.
I have gay friends and family members who just want to live their authentic lives. Being gay isn’t contagious and if you can barbecue a decent steak, we can be friends.
I don’t care if anyone is gay; just keep your sex life to yourself and I’ll do the same. God Bless and let’s work together.
They just want to live normal lives, and not have their identities be that of activists. Politics always divides. By politicizing their private lives, they run the risk of not be accepted by a large slice of the society. Depoliticizing their lives is the best thing toward winning acceptance.
Extremely well put. I'm thinking of sharing this at work, where the 'alphabet people' staff network are keen to take part in our local pride (deliberate lower case p). Thank you.
Looking forward to reading it. I went to two in the 90s, in Houston, after I came out. I have always said that it was just a pissing match to see who could be the trashiest in public.
Really really well written.
What a powerful, succint, on-point post. Well done!
Have restacked and am sending it around to those in my cirlce who Stll Don't Get It.
Thanks you for writing this and speaking out.
I don’t agree with your statement that “We were normal, and we were proud of that. The goal was integration and assimilation, not exhibitionism.”
At least that’s not how we argued it in my city and it’s important to acknowledge that every city handled things their own way as we rose in Western nations and different times. We said we’re just like you, we are human beings as diverse as you are and we ask to have equal human rights and not be persecuted because we’re different than you. “Normal” was a word I rejected using as it was obvious that some gays and lesbians were not seen as (and still are not seen as “normal”), which is to say they didn’t fit into conventional stereotypes. And that’s okay - we still embraced them.
I agree that for some of us the goal was integration and assimilation but this was not the case for others. I recall groups who wanted to separate and not integrate or assimilate into the dominant heterosexual world. Lesbian separatists, for example. I certainly remember the “exhibitionism” of the “S&M leather club” as well as gay male drag performers who often led marches and their presence is well documented in archives. Huge difference between then and now is people didn’t bring children to Pride marches to witness the spectacle of sexuality. These have been R rated events from the beginning.
The first ones across the finish line to gaining acceptance were, IMO, the lipstick lesbians and gay men like those pictured on your post because we were seen as “normal”.
While I’ve walked away from participating in Pride because it’s not safe for lesbians like myself to attend (and that’s a personal heartbreak for me because I headed the group that produced my city’s first Pride), I have not forgotten nor will I ever forget those who got left behind and didn’t make it across the finish line. You know, the “not normal” ones who couldn’t fit in or pass. And to them, we ought to pledge to come back because no one should be left on the battlefield to bleed out.
If someone can just clear the parade of sexual predators, “pups” oogling “furries” and heterosexual male autogynephilics who think they’re lesbians, I’m coming back.
As to the asexual crowd and the mysterious + people, who should not go without mention, I think they should also leave. It is shocking that anyone thinks asexual people were historically persecuted and belong at a Pride march. In case they missed the memo, we were targeted because we had sex with the same sex, not because we didn’t want to have sex.
I appreciate this. I don’t necessarily care if you’re gay. But I DO care when degenerates want to indoctrinate CHILDREN by exposing them to sex and sexuality. It damages them for life!!! Early exposure to sex changes your brain.
This movement forces children to these brain changes on purpose.
Well written but a mild factual distortion.
They have not “become” sex crazed, they’ve almost always included adult sexually focused elements (nudity, leather, drag) that is until surviving HIV took over as a focus, then trans laid a huge Cuckoo’s egg around 1997 when they all became focused on narcissistic self-affirmation. Parades often start with Dykes on Bikes, women in leather and sometimes bare tops. The beginning of the parade. Then something happened.
Gay liberation, HiV Pandemic, Gays disappear, Trans takes over.
I had tattoo-covered friends who had a hobby of getting outrage from the Moral Majority by nude leather gyration in Parades since the early 80’s, more than 40 years ago. It was to get Pride parades in papers. Freakshow was better than no show.
Gay and Lesbian liberation is about sexual liberation, that what the laws were against, not “loving” kiss kiss hug hug, but sex. People didn’t say “lover” to mean honey-bunny. It’s a parade for adults.
What changed is that the trans cuckoo egg hatched and pushed lesbians and gays out of the nest to wither and die, and is actively homophobic.
What’s left is… a parade of narcissistic self-affirmation or… Pride.
We all object to that.
I haven’t been to a “Pride” event since 1998.
Beautiful, thank you. Being the dad of three boys, one who's gay, I most wanted them to grow up to find reason in their beliefs and to value responsibility and humility over license and self reverence. They've mostly done that in a manner that respects people around them while expecting others to act accordingly. Entitlement is mostly out. My eldest has no time for the flag waving and performative type of man, instead living his life quietly and with dignity with his partner. I could not be more proud of him and only wish I could help raise him and his brothers all over again.
Not LG or B (but always supportive!) and have noticed more essays like yours popping up around the current LGBTQI2+whatever and know at least two LGB people in my social circles who share your view. I'm sorry that your history and activism is being hijacked by something that has nothing to do with how your community wishes to be seen.
In SF I'm seeing a real split on this by generations. Older gays and lesbians I know are turned off and many have stopped attending Pride at all, as well as not buying into the trans and queer show. But younger gays and lesbians are completely in on being "queer" and seem to relish getting into people's faces for the rush it gives them. Queer has become the overriding designation here , exemplified by the new Chan National Queer Arts Center.
I'm one of the ancients here and remember when it was Gay Freedom Day in the '70's with Harvey Milk seated on the back of a convertible waving as everyone in the neighborhood, gay and straight, came out to cheer. The shite show going on today bears no relation at all to that time. I wonder what Milk would think about all those years of hard fought progress degenerating into this.
Hear hear!
At the risk of putting on my nostalgia glasses, it really was different then. This was an event the entire city was behind and came out to celebrate. What's forgotten is how much support Milk got from blue collar workers ,labor and unions. He was not just about a gay agenda. The whole industrial, business merchandising of Pride hadn't happened yet and is now long past it's shelf life. More kitch and embarrassing today.
Yep, on every count. Today’s transqueer circus is mental illness masquerading as a civil rights movement.
I have gay friends and family members who just want to live their authentic lives. Being gay isn’t contagious and if you can barbecue a decent steak, we can be friends.
I don’t care if anyone is gay; just keep your sex life to yourself and I’ll do the same. God Bless and let’s work together.
They just want to live normal lives, and not have their identities be that of activists. Politics always divides. By politicizing their private lives, they run the risk of not be accepted by a large slice of the society. Depoliticizing their lives is the best thing toward winning acceptance.
Extremely well put. I'm thinking of sharing this at work, where the 'alphabet people' staff network are keen to take part in our local pride (deliberate lower case p). Thank you.
It takes a lot of courage to write something like this. Not even because there's anything wrong with it, just because of the reactions it can get.
You have my respect and admiration for that.
Looking forward to reading it. I went to two in the 90s, in Houston, after I came out. I have always said that it was just a pissing match to see who could be the trashiest in public.
I’m tired of the whole gay agenda
Couldn’t agree more!